Embrace your introverted nature and stop apologizing for the unique strengths that come with quiet contemplation and solitude.
There are certain things in life that we shouldn’t have to apologize for, things that are simply part of who we are. For me, being a night owl is one of those things, and being an introvert is another. I refuse to apologize for my preference for quiet contemplation, for the way my energy thrives in solitude.
Like being a night owl, being an introvert is a constant battle. I’ve seen too many bosses try to shove introverts into the shadows, relegating us to “impactless worker bees” in back offices. I’ve been told that introverts lack something, that we’re not as smart, not as charismatic, not as worthy of success as our extroverted counterparts.
I remember a time when I worked in an Air Force research lab with 400 people. The engineer in charge decided we all needed to take the Myers-Briggs test, claiming he wanted to identify the extroverts for the “plum projects.” He even stated outright in my presence, though he later denied it, that he’d use the test to identify introverts so he could keep them away from the important projects. He himself had taken the test and was an extrovert, and to him, that meant only extroverts were leaders.
I knew then, as an introvert, that the test would be used against me. I refused to take it. Out of 400 people, I think I was one of only two who didn’t take the test. Some of us didn’t want to be pigeon-holed.
People often misunderstand the difference between introversion and extroversion. It’s not about being shy or antisocial. It’s about where we draw our energy from. Where we “feed.” Extroverts gain energy from being around people, while introverts recharge in solitude. Too much social stimulation can drain an introvert, leaving them feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. We need time alone to replenish our energy before we can re-engage with the world. The more introverted we are—picture a scale of 0 to 10—the more we need time alone. Or the more “peopled out” we are in the moment, the more we need a reprieve.
Of course, when it comes to extroverts and introverts, neither is wrong. It’s just how we’re wired. And there’s a spectrum of introversion to extroversion. People who know me only through my writing think I’m an extrovert. Most people who know me in person and how quiet I can be are surprised to learn that I’m actually quite close to the middle of that spectrum. I’ve even tested as an extrovert at times, likely due to the circumstances of my life at the time.
But the truth is, I’m an introvert at heart. I find my greatest joy in quiet moments of reflection, in deep conversations with a few close friends, and in the beauty of nature.
So, to all my fellow introverts out there: let’s stop apologizing for who we are. Let’s embrace our quiet strengths, our deep thinking, and our unique ways of seeing the world. We are not lacking, we are not inferior, we are simply wired differently. And that’s okay.
Leave a Reply